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This time I'm really going

Updated: May 1, 2021

This time I am really going.


I am really going this time.

Not like last time


Where I postponed and

Hemmed and hawed.


Or I remembered some

Project to finish.


Walking on eggshells after

The amicable divorce


Staying made the eventual

Loss bearable


But I thought little of what

It meant to you.


Getting old alone is not

Easy to bear


Holding on less a

Matter of grip


Than of schedules and

Rehearsed rhymes.



Emotional syntax not

Thought about.


Thirty years goes by

In a flash


When you hid away

Daily despair.


At first you want to

Talk about it


And then you tire of

The words


And you forgive each

Other again


Because forgiveness

Comes easy


When you don’t feel

The fault.


No one to blame, no

One harmed.


But enough is someone

Else’s call


Not yours you swore

Off responsibility


Long ago after that

Night of yelling


The brutal night you

Left home.


But you would return;

I moved over.


Simply demanding the

Bed space.



Silence among the stars

Just fine;


A neutral corner agreed

Upon compromise.


It has been too long of

This purgatory.


It has not been hell

Just not heaven.


And I am growing old

With pain


And it’s not easy growing

Painfully old


So, this time I mean

Really to go.


What do you mean

Don’t go?


We only have each

Other snores.


Who else would have

Us now?


Sometimes love happens

Other times


Love just means staying

Silently home.








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